step by step

i start this post with great hesitation.  if you know me at all, you know that i’m basically an open book.  i want to connect with people, share my heart and build relationships.  but sometimes it’s hard.

this blog is a part of my business.  i’m not a great business woman.  i haven’t taken any classes (maybe i should!)  i worry sometimes that sharing where i’m at will affect the photo biz in a negative way.  that’s usually where the Lord stops me.  He began showing me a few months ago that there’s nothing that He ever did on this earth for money – nothing.  He didn’t worry about money, didn’t hold on to it, didn’t do anything with consideration to a profit and loss ratio.  His motive was ministry – His heart was for people.

last saturday was supposed to be the first foto finch workshop.  a huge deal right?  i thought so 🙂  for the last 6 months i’ve been writing material, getting sponsorships, taking care of details, running ads, the list goes on.  and the entire time, we prayed about each step, heard from the Lord, and walked as we believed He was leading us.  He was opening up doors that i just couldn’t have opened for myself (like chick-fil-a!)

so, what happened?  no one signed up.  not a single person.  as we waited week after week, i started to get really discouraged, i mean REALLY discouraged.  what was the Lord doing?  had i just manipulated the circumstances, pushed something to happen where the Lord wasn’t actually leading?  i asked the Lord and my conscience was clear.  this is how He had led us.

so what then?  why was He allowing this?  the Lord said over and over that i just needed to continue to walk with Him, seek and abide, step by step.  this was Him.

saturday came and went, no workshop.  the last two weeks i felt like i’d been wrestling with the Lord.  He continued to make it clear, this was the way He’d led me, every step and even now with no event.  He was with me, faithful, and i needed to choose to believe the truth – He loves me.  He hasn’t left me.  He’s working things out for my good.  needless to say, it had been a tough couple of weeks.

the thursday before the workshop was supposed to happen, i had a melt down.  i was on the phone with my cousin, crying about how i didn’t know what i was supposed to be doing.  there was a plan – focus at home, homeschool, ministry, maybe start thinking about shooting less, and these workshops were part of that.  what am i supposed to be doing if they didn’t work out?

the next day, i sat with the Lord.  i’ve been reading this devotional book, at His feet.  the entry for that day was about the great commission and how the God of all authority gives us the purpose of discipling and baptizing and teaching.  at the bottom of the page, it said, “if you’ve ever wondered what God wants us to be busy with, if we want meaning in our lives, or to know we are in God’s plan, this is it.”  of course Lord, of course you’d word it just like that.

by friday night i had starting thinking about the july and august workshops.  was i supposed to do something different?  change something?

i called my cousin on saturday (seriously, i’m so blessed to have her in my life!)  i told her i didn’t want to do anything in the flesh (like trying to “fix” something because things weren’t going the way i wanted) but i was considering dropping the price of the workshops.  she asked what my motive was?

was my heart for these workshops to earn money, to contribute to my household financially?  was i making decisions based on how much profit i’d bring in?  or was it ministry?  to teach and share what the Lord has blessed me with, this gift of photography in my life.  to make these events available to as many as i could, and in some way, open up doors for what the Lord might want to do?

i told her about my time with the Lord the day before and in my heart it was confirmed – the Lord’s heart for these workshops isn’t money, it’s people.  there’s been more praying the last couple of days, seeking specifically how much to charge for these events.  He’s made it clear and i’m happy to say that we are slashing the price for workshop seats!

He’s so so good and faithful and patient.  if the only good was that in my discouragement, i was able to hear the Lord a little clearer, walk with Him closer and learn to abide in a deeper way, then i can count last saturday as a success!  if you find yourself in a place of discouragement, not knowing where the Lord is taking you or if the Lord still sees you, hold on to what is true.  walk step by step, abiding in Him.  press in!  i’m learning that that’s His real purpose in all things.

i pray that this blesses you as much as it blesses me 🙂  the workshop registration has been dropped to $75!  if you’d like more info on what we’ll cover and what’s provided during the event, please click on the workshop page.  you’ll also find links to register for an event there.  i hope to see you this summer!  no matter what, i’m so excited to be walking actively with the Lord and to see what He’s got in store!